Tuesday, November 4, 2008

5 Reasons Why Christians Should Not Obtain a State Marriage License
by Pastor Matt Trewhella

Every year thousands of Christians amble down to their local county courthouse and obtain a marriage license from the State in order to marry their future spouse. They do this unquestioningly. They do it because their pastor has told them to go get one, and besides, "everybody else gets one." This pamphlet attempts to answer the question - why should we not get one?

1. The definition of a "license" demands that we not obtain one to marry. Black’s Law Dictionary defines "license" as, "The permission by competent authority to do an act which without such permission, would be illegal." We need to ask ourselves- why should it be illegal to marry without the State’s permission? More importantly, why should we need the State’s permission to participate in something which God instituted (Gen. 2:18-24)? We should not need the State’s permission to marry nor should we grovel before state officials to seek it. What if you apply and the State says "no"? You must understand that the authority to license implies the power to prohibit. A license by definition "confers a right" to do something. The State cannot grant the right to marry. It is a God-given right.

2. When you marry with a marriage license, you grant the State jurisdiction over your marriage. When you marry with a marriage license, your marriage is a creature of the State. It is a corporation of the State! Therefore, they have jurisdiction over your marriage including the fruit of your marriage. What is the fruit of your marriage? Your children and every piece of property you own. There is plenty of case law in American jurisprudence which declares this to be true.

In 1993, parents were upset here in Wisconsin because a test was being administered to their children in the government schools which was very invasive of the family’s privacy. When parents complained, they were shocked by the school bureaucrats who informed them that their children were required to take the test by law and that they would have to take the test because they (the government school) had jurisdiction over their children. When parents asked the bureaucrats what gave them jurisdiction, the bureaucrats answered, "your marriage license and their birth certificates." Judicially, and in increasing fashion, practically, your state marriage license has far-reaching implications.

3. When you marry with a marriage license, you place yourself under a body of law which is immoral. By obtaining a marriage license, you place yourself under the jurisdiction of Family Court which is governed by unbiblical and immoral laws. Under these laws, you can divorce for any reason. Often, the courts side with the spouse who is in rebellion to God, and castigates the spouse who remains faithful by ordering him or her not to speak about the Bible or other matters of faith when present with the children.

As a minister, I cannot in good conscience perform a marriage which would place people under this immoral body of laws. I also cannot marry someone with a marriage license because to do so I have to act as an agent of the State! I would have to sign the marriage license, and I would have to mail it into the State. Given the State’s demand to usurp the place of God and family regarding marriage, and given it’s unbiblical, immoral laws to govern marriage, it would be an act of treason for me to do so.

4. The marriage license invades and removes God-given parental authority. When you read the Bible, you see that God intended for children to have their father’s blessing regarding whom they married. Daughters were to be given in marriage by their fathers (Dt. 22:16; Ex. 22:17; I Cor. 7:38). We have a vestige of this in our culture today in that the father takes his daughter to the front of the altar and the minister asks, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Historically, there was no requirement to obtain a marriage license in colonial America. When you read the laws of the colonies and then the states, you see only two requirements for marriage. First, you had to obtain your parents permission to marry, and second, you had to post public notice of the marriage 5-15 days before the ceremony.

Notice you had to obtain your parents permission. Back then you saw godly government displayed in that the State recognized the parents authority by demanding that the parents permission be obtained. Today, the all-encompassing ungodly State demands that their permission be obtained to marry.

By issuing marriage licenses, the State is saying, "You don’t need your parents permission, you need our permission." If parents are opposed to their child’s marrying a certain person and refuse to give their permission, the child can do an end run around the parents authority by obtaining the State’s permission, and marry anyway. This is an invasion and removal of God-given parental authority by the State.

5. When you marry with a marriage license, you are like a polygamist. From the State’s point of view, when you marry with a marriage license, you are not just marrying your spouse, but you are also marrying the State.

The most blatant declaration of this fact that I have ever found is a brochure entitled "With This Ring I Thee Wed." It is found in county courthouses across Ohio where people go to obtain their marriage licenses. It is published by the Ohio State Bar Association. The opening paragraph under the subtitle "Marriage Vows" states, "Actually, when you repeat your marriage vows you enter into a legal contract. There are three parties to that contract. 1.You; 2. Your husband or wife, as the case may be; and 3. the State of Ohio."

See, the State and the lawyers know that when you marry with a marriage license, you are not just marrying your spouse, you are marrying the State! You are like a polygamist! You are not just making a vow to your spouse, but you are making a vow to the State and your spouse. You are also giving undue jurisdiction to the State.

When Does the State Have Jurisdiction Over a Marriage?

God intended the State to have jurisdiction over a marriage for two reasons - 1). in the case of divorce, and 2). when crimes are committed i.e., adultery, bigamy. etc. Unfortunately, the State now allows divorce for any reason, and it does not prosecute for adultery.

In either case, divorce or crime, a marriage license is not necessary for the courts to determine whether a marriage existed or not. What is needed are witnesses. This is why you have a best man and a maid of honor. They should sign the marriage certificate in your family Bible, and the wedding day guest book should be kept.

Marriage was instituted by God, therefore it is a God-given right. According to Scripture, it is to be governed by the family, and the State only has jurisdiction in the cases of divorce or crime.

History of Marriage Licenses in America

George Washington was married without a marriage license. So, how did we come to this place in America where marriage licenses are issued?

Historically, all the states in America had laws outlawing the marriage of blacks and whites. In the mid-1800’s, certain states began allowing interracial marriages or miscegenation as long as those marrying received a license from the state. In other words they had to receive permission to do an act which without such permission would have been illegal.

Blacks Law Dictionary points to this historical fact when it defines "marriage license" as, "A license or permission granted by public authority to persons who intend to intermarry." "Intermarry" is defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as, "Miscegenation; mixed or interracial marriages."

Give the State an inch and they will take a 100 miles (or as one elderly woman once said to me "10,000 miles.") Not long after these licenses were issued, some states began requiring all people who marry to obtain a marriage license. In 1923, the Federal Government established the Uniform Marriage and Marriage License Act (they later established the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act). By 1929, every state in the Union had adopted marriage license laws.

What Should We Do?

Christian couples should not be marrying with State marriage licenses, nor should ministers be marrying people with State marriage licenses. Some have said to me, "If someone is married without a marriage license, then they aren’t really married." Given the fact that states may soon legalize same-sex marriages, we need to ask ourselves, "If a man and a man marry with a State marriage license, and a man and woman marry without a State marriage license - who’s really married? Is it the two men with a marriage license, or the man and woman without a marriage license? In reality, this contention that people are not really married unless they obtain a marriage license simply reveals how Statist we are in our thinking. We need to think biblically. (As for homosexuals marrying, outlaw sodomy as God's law demands, and there will be no threat of sodomites marrying.)

You should not have to obtain a license from the State to marry someone anymore than you should have to obtain a license from the State to be a parent, which some in academic and legislative circles are currently pushing to be made law.

When I marry a couple, I always buy them a Family Bible which contains birth and death records, and a marriage certificate. We record the marriage in the Family Bible. What’s recorded in a Family Bible will stand up as legal evidence in any court of law in America. Early Americans were married without a marriage license. They simply recorded their marriages in their Family Bibles. So should we.

(Pastor Trewhella has been marrying couples without marriage licenses for ten years. Many other pastors also refuse to marry couples with State marriage licenses.)

This pamphlet is not comprehensive in scope. Rather, the purpose of this pamphlet is to make you think and give you a starting point to do further study of your own. If you would like an audio sermon regarding this matter, just send a gift of at least five dollars in cash to: Mercy Seat Christian Church 10240 W. National Ave. PMB #129 Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53227.

This pamphlet is available in print form. Click here to order.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Prayer for Womanhood

Hello! I found this on a blog over on xanga
and thought I'd share this with you.

A Prayer for Womanhood

God, give each true good woman
Her own small house to keep,
No heart should ache with longing,
No hurt should go too deep.....
Grant her age-old desire:
A house to love and sweep.
Give her a man beside her,
A kind man, and a true,
And let them work together
And love, a lifetime through,
And let her mother children
As gentle women do.
Give her a shelf for dishes,
And a shining box for bread,
A white cloth for her table,
And a white spread for her bed,
A shaded lamp at nightfall,
And a row of books much read.
God, let her work with laughter,
And let her rest with sleep.
No life can truly offer
A peace more sure and deep....
God, give each true woman
Her own small house to keep

~Grace Noll Crowell , 1934 ~

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Commit Thy Way

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Psalm 37: 4 & 5

I read this in Psalms this morning as part of my Bible reading. It was as if the Lord did this on purpose. It seems that lately I have had a little bit of struggle with being unmarried. And I don't know why. I want to be focused on God and doing what I am supposed to do in the here and now.

I remember have a talk with my Dad and I told him that I didn't want to marry 5 or 10 years down the road. I wanted it to be sooner than that. It seems like quite along time from, now. But, my Pa's reply was, 'Just take it one day at a time. That's all we are supposed to do.'

I am so glad that I had that conversation with my Pa. I will always remember what he said. I am glad that all I have to do is take it one day at a time.

Being unmarried is a time to learn new things or master things like arts and crafts. What I do now, could either be a help or lack of for marriage should God so choose to bless me with that aspect of life.

Most women are to get married, but there are a few who are not.

I just need to remember that no matter at what age if I do get married that God can still bless me with a lot of children if He chooses to.

So, while we are in this time of our life as stay at home daughters preparing to be keepers at home that we need to 'Delight ourselves also in the Lord' and he will give us our desires, but only if they are good desires then will he give them to us. We just need to commit our way to him, trust in him, and he and only he will bring it to pass(the right man). We just have to busy ourselves(maybe even more, if we are not busy enough).

Things to do that might help keep one busy:

Learn to sew if you don't know how. If you don't have money for a sewing machine practice hand stitching. Pray for the material, the thread, and anything else if it is expensive. Look for deals. I subscribe to email updates from Hobby Lobby and sometimes they will have a 99 cents sale on Simplicity or McCall's patterns for a limited time.

Learn to crochet.

Learn to knit.

Learn how to embroider.

Read about history, home making, etc. Just make sure it is actual learning not romance( it gets you to think about a guy or the future and daydreaming). You could use this as a research tool.

Spend time with siblings, and teach them things or do stuff with them.

Try out a simple new recipe.

Bake something for someone maybe someone who has lost someone dear to them or someone who needs to smile or just for fun.

Work on penmanship. I have a Spencerian Theory book for that, I just need to get back at that.


Plant a garden and make sure and take care of it.

If you play an instrument then practice it.

Memorize scripture or read more of the Bible. That is the best way to memorize(to read more of it over and over again).

Help others.

Quilt or learn to quilt.

Learn how to budget( read a book on it, too) and be frugal(look for deals on stuff).

Participate in making food for church get togethers.

Baby sit for a married couple who would like a night out.

There are more I could probably list, but I won't.

And now, I must get off!

I hope everyone has a truly blessed day!!!


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Hello, Ladies! I found an old post over at Rebecca's Reflections and thought I would share some of that post on here, since I thought it was pretty interesting.
Here it is:

The Calling to a Ministry
There are many young women today who say that they are called to be a pastor's wife or a missionary's wife. Some even say that they are called to a specific place of ministry. But can a woman pinpoint a specific area or place of ministry when she has not yet met her husband?
Did God intend for women to first determine their own calling and then find a man who shares the same calling? Suppose a woman does marry a man who shares her "calling". What happens if the man is later called to another location or to a different area of ministry? I surely hope that the woman does not insist on staying because she has been "called" to that particular ministry.
In some instances, the Lord does not lead a man to serve in ministry until after he has already married. I have heard of such stories in which the man's wife protests saying, "Well, the Lord didn't call me!"I contend that the Lord did call her. Whether she realizes it or not, she answered God's call the day she agreed to marry her husband.
I feel a little hesitant about what I am about to say. Biblically, I cannot find evidence of a woman being called to a ministry at all. I believe that the Lord most certainly does call men to serve Him today. I believe that He calls women also--but probably not in the way which is commonly thought. The Lord calls women to serve alongside their husbands--to be the completer and the helper which is suitable to him. If it is God's will that a woman marry, she is first and foremost called to be the wife of her husband.
Some Final Thoughts
I will admit that I have not always believed everything that I have put forth in this post. I am speaking specifically of the issue of a woman's calling to a ministry. When the Lord first began to work in my heart concerning this, I found myself trying to make excuses. But when I finally accepted what I believe is God's plan for women, I felt such a relief! Truly, God's plan for women and the purpose for which she was created is a beautiful thing!
Truthfully, I still hope with all of my heart that the Lord allows me to serve Him alongside my husband someday. But the Lord knows what is best. Whatever my future husband's vocation may be, I will know of a certainty that the Lord has called me to be his wife. Whether the Lord calls my husband to a foreign land or to stay here in America, I will go with him. I will go with him because he will be my husband--I will be his wife.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A true man doesn't need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl for the rest of her life!

-Author unknown

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

For Those Who are Stay-at-Home Wives

The Blue Bowl

All day long I did the little things,
The little things that do not show;
I brought the kindling for the fire,
I set the candles in a row,
I filled a bowl with marigolds—
The shallow bowl you love the best—
And made the house a pleasant place
Where weariness may take its rest.

The hours sped on, my eager feet
Could not keep pace with my desire.
So much to do! So little time!
I could not let my body tire.
Yet when the coming of the night
Blotted the garden from my sight,
And on the narrow graveled walks
Between the guarding flower stalks
I heard your step, I was not through
With services I meant for you.

You came into the quiet room
That glowed enchanted with the bloom
Of yellow flame. I saw your face;
Illumined by the firelit space,
Slowly grow still and comforted—
“It’s good to be at home,” you said.

~ Blanch Bane Kuder

The link to "I am a Stay-at-Home- Wife is in the article section on the side bar if you wives or even unmarried women are interested.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

God's Plan for Finding a Mate

I want to begin by telling you one of the most beautiful love stories you will ever hear. Chad and Heidi Eves were married November 22, 1997 in Flint, Michigan. Their story was featured in an NBC Dateline segment titled "My One and Only."

The NBC crew spent many hours over a period of several days interviewing the parents and shooting film of Chad and Heidi. They taped the couple before they were married and also filmed the wedding itself.

An NBC representative told Chad and Heidi's parents that their story was the most praised documentary ever done according to the feedback NBC received. The network received over 100 faxes and e-mails praising the segment, and only one or two complaints. I'll tell you about one of the "complaints" later in the message.

I've spent several joyful hours on the telephone interviewing Chad, Heidi and each of their parents. I wondered, "How could this happen when these two families lived 3 ½ hours apart?" The Eves lived in Canada and the Hayden's lived in Michigan.

Chad and Heidi actually met in Flint, Michigan in January of 1997, when Heidi's parents began driving 2 ½ hours to the same church Chad's parents were attending. Chad's parents, Frank and Barb Eves, were driving an hour and a half from Canada.

Chad told me that he was actually friends with Heidi's brothers before he got to know her. He said, "We got to know each other by me being in and out of their home. I never paid that much attention to her. She was just their sister."

Telling me of how it all came to be, Chad's Dad said, "It probably started when Chad was about 12 and I was talking with he and his brother about what was happening in society. We were looking for a better way for them to get to the marriage altar. For about three years we talked to them about the statistics in the world and about the Biblical perspective."

By age 15 Chad had developed his own convictions. He was saying things like, "Why should someone waste their time going out with a lot of people that they're not going to wind up with? They not only go through the highs and lows of emotions, they also waste a lot of money and time. Plus, you would wind up comparing what you had in the past with what you're going to have in the future."

Chad's father related to me a conversation Chad had with a 21 year old fellow who had fathered a baby but had not married the girl. Chad said, "You've got a baby and you didn't marry the girl?!"

When the fellow asked his view, Chad replied, "I take the view that I'm not going to go out with any girl until I find the one that God directs me to and then I'll marry her!"

The fellow just laughed at Chad.

Mr. Eves told me Chad was a very strong willed, first born son. But about a year before the relationship with Heidi began, Chad said, "Dad, I want you and me to develop an even stronger relationship as a father and son." Dad was thrilled. They talked a lot, spent time with each other, and drew closer in their relationship.

Several months later, as they were loading the trunk of the car, Chad said, "Dad, I think I've found the one."


Heidi's Dad told me that they began teaching Heidi the basic principles when she was younger, but about age14, Heidi made a commitment to do what they then called "courtship." He said, "The Lord really led us into this, I guess, based on our own past failures. We realized that God must have a better way to bring individuals to the most important commitment outside of salvation."

One of the things Mr. Hayden told me was that he and Heidi used to go on "dates" together. (Incidentally, I am for that type of "dating"!) One of the things they would do on these "dates" was discuss the character of various young men.

Mr. Hayden had developed what he called an "evaluation form." They would seek to humbly discern what young men were like in several areas of life. Neal would say to Heidi, "Rate this young man from 1 to 5 on "Personal Grooming." How about "Moral Freedom," "Financial Freedom," "Proper Friendships," "Response to adults," "Personal struggles," etc.? They rated each young man from 1 to 5 in each area.

Of course there were areas they didn't know about, but the purpose of the evaluation was not to be critical or judgmental, but rather to teach discernment. Neal was adamant that he was not going to be involved in a parent arranged marriage, and he wanted his daughter to be able to discern the character of a young man for herself.

When I asked Chad's mother, Barb Eves, to share with me how Chad came to realize that Heidi was God's choice for his life, she replied, "Chad and his brother had a ministry of just serving others. They would just go and help people do whatever they needed to do."

When they found out the Hayden's were going to tear down a barn, the boys both went to help them do it. While they were there, the Lord seemed to say to Chad, "Heidi is to be your wife." Chad then prayed and sought God's will further, and a few days later (in late spring of 1997) Chad told his Dad, "I think I've found the one."

After discussing with Chad how he felt the Lord was leading him, Mr. Eves asked Chad to create a journal over the next several days wherein he would write whatever insights or thoughts or prayers the Lord seemed to impress on his heart.

Chad would get alone in his room and read the Bible and pray and whatever he felt God was saying to him he would write down. When asked what the journal was like, I was told: "It wasn't something super spiritual. It was 5 to 10 pages of Chad's heart. Some of it was like him talking to the Lord. He might write down some Scripture he read, then his insights, then something else like, "Lord, I know I'm not worthy to care for Heidi, but if you would allow me to demonstrate my love for her I would be so grateful."

What did Heidi know about what was going on at this point? Absolutely nothing. (Wasn't that mean?!)

In the early summer of 1997, Chad's parents took Heidi's parents to dinner on a Friday evening. As they conversed at the table, Heidi's father commented that he had received a call the previous day from a fellow I'll call "Jerry" who was interested in Heidi.

"Jerry" said, "I hear you're looking for someone for your daughter to date!" The Hayden's and Eve's had a good laugh as Mr. Hayden told how he explained to "Jerry" that they didn't believe in dating. But he wound up setting a time the next Tuesday to meet with the young man to talk to him.

Chad's parents looked at each other, then explained that the reason they wanted to meet with the Hayden's was because their son Chad felt like the Lord had spoken to his heart about Heidi. Though Chad didn't know it was going to happen, his Dad gave Heidi's Dad the journal Chad had written. Also included in the journal were insights from Chad's brother and Chad's parents.

The following Friday was the night that Mr. and Mrs. Hayden often left all their children behind and went out together. With neither Heidi nor any of the other children knowing anything about what was going on, Mr. Hayden drove and met Chad while Mrs. Hayden visited with Chad's mother and got to know her better.

For 3 ½ hours Mr. Hayden discussed, as Chad put it laughingly, "Everything from what kind of toothpaste I used, to what my greatest struggles were, and my greatest victory."

Three different times over a period of three weeks Chad and Heidi's Dad met and talked for hours.

Heidi still knew nothing. Even her brothers didn't know. Chad told me that he "actually grew a little more distant to her outwardly during that time." He was trying to make sure he didn't defraud her in any way.

Heidi's Dad told me, "I didn't want Heidi's heart to be turning toward an individual until I had evaluated him. It would've made it difficult for her to keep her heart from turning toward Chad prematurely if the parties involved had not first objectively evaluated the situation."

Mr. Hayden said, "My wife decided before me. The journal helped convince her. It showed Chad's heart. It showed he was hearing from God."

Another strong factor that influenced Mr. Hayden was the strong relationship he and his wife had with Chad's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Eves.

On Saturday, three weeks after his first meeting with Chad, Mr. Hayden went on what he called a "Prayer walk." At that time the Lord seemed to impress on his heart Psalms 34:3 and 4. Both verses held separate key thoughts to him.

"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together."

The other verse says, "I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."

Mr. Hayden took Heidi on a date that night. Without letting her know of Chad's interest, he had her do an "evaluation form" in relation to several fellows in their new church whom they had not evaluated before.

Chad was one of those fellows. Mr. Hayden said, "I wanted an objective evaluation without any emotional ties." Chad and one other fellow came out close to the top.

At that point Dad said, "Heidi, there has been a young man who has expressed an interest in starting a courtship with you."

Heidi had overheard part of the conversation when "Jerry" had called three weeks earlier and figured out who it was on the phone and why he might be calling. She told her Dad later that she immediately thought of "Jerry" and was ready to say "No."

Her Dad continued, "And this young man is Chad Eves."

Heidi looked at her Dad and said, "Chad? Me?" And she began weeping!

She was really quiet for a long time, and then she said, "Yes, I would like that."

When she got home that night, her Mom greeted her with the question, "Did ya'll have a good date?" Heidi threw her arms around her Mom's neck and said, "Mom, you knew this all along!"

Mr. Hayden called the Eves that night and told them Heidi's decision. Saturday night about midnight, Chad arrived home from work and Chad's Mom said, "Chad, we need to talk." Chad told me that he looked at his Mother and said, "Oh no. She said, ‘No' didn't she?" And Mom smiled and said, "No. Actually she said ‘Yes.'"

Chad said, "I hardly slept that night."

Chad's folks had moved from Canada to Michigan, but the families still lived an hour and a half apart.

They agreed to meet at church on Sunday morning 30 minutes earlier than usual. With the new couple in the center, both sets of parents prayed for God's direction and blessing to be able to get started right. Then Chad and Heidi were given 30 minutes to talk.

The new couple sat together in church. During the fellowship time, the pastor asked if anyone had a testimony to give. Both fathers came forward and formally announced the beginning of the relationship. Chad and Heidi stood and everyone applauded.

Chad's Dad clarified for me what was taking place from their perspective. He said, "When Chad went into it, it wasn't to see if she was the one. It was, ‘She IS the one! The purpose of this is marriage."

Several weeks later, in August, the families made a trip together. Chad had purchased a diamond ring and wanted to formally ask Heidi to marry him. At Muskegon, Michigan, the couple walked out on a pier on Lake Michigan. Chad stepped over to a rock. Then he coaxed Heidi over on to the rock. He said, "I wanted to be standing on the rock." Chad asked. Heidi said "Yes." And Chad handed her the ring. She slipped the ring on her finger since Chad had decided not to touch her at all until their wedding day

On November 22, 1997 Chad and Heidi touched and kissed for the first time at the marriage altar.

How many of you would agree with me that that was a beautiful story?

Why was it beautiful? It was beautiful because it was Biblical!

As Chad and Heidi rode away from their wedding reception, one of the NBC crew said to Chad's father, "I've never been through anything like this in my life. Our last assignment before we came here to Michigan was in Alaska. We were in a town where 70% of the town was infected with sexually transmitted diseases. The epidemic was traced back to the High School. We came here from there and here we see a Biblical perspective."

Mr. Hayden was telling me how they came to the decision to allow NBC to come in. He said, "I knew this would bring a whole new level of pressure to bear on this whole situation. But we knew that God's goal through our family was to bring glory to Himself . Our goal as a family is to make God look good. When I explained to the family about letting NBC come in, I said, ‘What is our goal as a family?' And they all replied, ‘To make God look good.' So then I explained to the family that this was an opportunity for us to do that."

Mr. Hayden told the NBC producer, "I know how you folks sometimes work, so I want to be up front with you. I want to see how you guys can make something so good look bad." If you saw the Dateline story, you know that the biggest criticism against the plan Chad and Heidi followed to get married came from a sociology professor who said, "[It] might make a more secure marriage in the sense that everybody has decided to vote for the institutions and traditions of the past. But it might not make a very happy one."

My response to that is: "Does that mean the insecurity of dating and defrauding and fornication and divorce is supposedly producing happiness?!"

I talked to a secular college professor who told me:

"I use that video of Chad and Heidi in my college class every semester. I have girls in tears who have lost their virtue. I have guys who are speechless. I have young men who have ‘partied,' and they look me right in the eye and say, ‘that's the way I want to get married.'

"A young man from Florida with no church or religion said, ‘that's the way it ought to be.'

"Every semester I have shown it in the class, the response comes immediately: ‘I'm saving myself for my husband. This is how I want to live and how I want to court.'"

The professor told me that a silence falls over the class while the video is playing. Then he said, "When Chad and Heidi kiss, every semester kids burst into tears."

He viewed some as tears of regret and some as tears of commitment.

Why was Chad and Heidi's story so romantic and so beautiful and so "right" that even the world sits up in amazement?

Because they and their parents followed four key Biblical pattern principles that everyone should follow to get safely and properly to the marriage altar.

These are essential principles for committed Christians who love God and love His Word and want to please the Lord.

They are principles that will work for anyone anywhere in any culture at any time in the world because they are the principles designed and appointed by God to "fit" with this part of human life.

Have you noticed that there are certain key principles that work with marriage that will make anyone's marriage happier and more successful?

Lost or saved people, either one, will have better, happier marriages that are more likely to survive the rain and wind and floods of life if they both recognize that marriage is a covenant not a contract; if the husband lives for his wife instead of for himself; if the wife willingly submits to the husband's servant leadership; and if they will regularly and faithfully communicate about anything and everything that is going on in their lives.

These are universal principles that everyone ought to follow and that will work for anyone because marriage was designed for mankind and not just for Christians.

And the principles to get to the marriage altar are universal principles that everyone ought to follow and that will work for anyone because these principles were made by God to "fit" with the people that God created.

When there are problems getting to the marriage altar those problems can be traced to a violation of one or more of these principles.

And when there are problems in marriage, those problems can always be traced to a violation of the principles designed by God for marriage itself or to the principles designed by God for getting to the marriage altar.

Chad's Dad said to me "I believe each situation is unique, but there should be some things consistent with each relationship."

originally at

To listen to the series by Dr. S.M. Davis free online go to and scroll down till you find the series.

I hope ya'll enjoy this story!